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May 30, 2007
Jokes I laugh out loud at
Here are the 2 jokes that actually make me laugh out loud.
The first one made me laugh out loud for 4.683 seconds:
Three kids come down to the kitchen and sit around the breakfast table.
The Mother asks the oldest boy what he’d like to eat.
"I’ll have some fuckin’ French toast," he says.
The Mother is outraged at his language, hits him, and sends him upstairs.
She asks the middle child what he wants.
"Well, I guess that leaves more fuckin’ French toast for me," he says.
She is livid, smacks him, and sends him away.
Finally she asks the youngest son what he wants for breakfast.
"I don’t know," he says meekly, "but I definitely don’t want the fuckin’ French toast."
This one made me laugh out loud for 3.791 seconds:
Saul is working in his store when he hears a booming voice from above:
"Saul, sell your business."
He ignores it. It goes on for days.
"Saul, sell your business for $3 million."
After weeks of this, he relents, sells his store.
The voice says "Saul, go to Las Vegas."
He asks why?
"Saul, take the $3 million to Las Vegas."
He obeys, goes to a casino.
Voice says, "Saul, go to the blackjack table and put it down all on one hand."
He hesitates but knows he must. He’s dealt an 18. The dealer has a six showing.
"Saul, take a card." What? The dealer has -- "Take a card!"
He tells the dealer to hit him. Saul gets an ace. Nineteen. He breathes easy.
"Saul, take another card." What? "TAKE ANOTHER CARD!" He asks for another card.
It’s another ace. He has twenty.
"Saul, take another card," the voice commands. I have twenty! Saul shouts.
"TAKE ANOTHER CARD!!" booms the voice.
Hit me,Saul says. He gets another ace. Twenty one. The booming voice goes:
"un-fucking-believable!"
Hope they made you laugh as much as I did (about 8.474 seconds actually)
Posted by Markiss at 4:02 PM | Comments (1)
May 24, 2007
Photo or Not?
Can anyone tell me whether this is a photo or a picture?
Click on the photo/pic below to see it in detail.
Wish I could do something like this.
Painting of Tica by Dru Blair
Posted by Markiss at 5:03 PM | Comments (8)
May 23, 2007
Publican of the Year
I've got to congratulate Lee who is the manager of La Forge Bar in St Ouen for winning the Publican of the Year 2007 in Jersey. I must admit I have been drinking up there a good few times recently and I think he has done a great job with the place. I was there when he was being interviewed for the Publican of the Year and the place was packed to the rafters.
I'm not too sure what is going to happen with the bar in the future though as an application has been approved to change the whole lot into lodging accommodation. Seems such a shame that a small local free house is going to be closed down for lodging.
Seems to happen to me everywhere I drink.
The Bel Tabarin was knocked down and returned to nature. (Better than lodging accommodation I must admit)
The Stable Bar is now 2 houses.
The Fisherman's Wharf which I went to after the Stable Bar closed is now 8 Houses and a number of Flats.
Watch out The Mary's and The Farmer's, would be a great shame if we lost them to more housing!
Posted by Markiss at 11:03 AM | Comments (2)
May 22, 2007
Naughty me
Don't know what just happened but here I was sitting at my computer working away and the next thing I know was I was puffing away on a cigarette. (I quickly ran outside to finish it)
Not a good thing considering it is now illegal to smoke at work. I have done that a few times in the pub as well since the ban came in. Hopefully I will get used to it by the end of the year.
Posted by Markiss at 3:17 PM | Comments (0)
Passport
I have finally received my passport in the post this morning. At last I'm not a prisoner anymore. It felt quite strange not being able to go anywhere for a few weeks. Not that I would have done but at least I would have had the option.
The new passport even looks like me and not some headbanger that just fell out of a pub anymore.
Now I need to get off the rock as soon as possible. France seems to be at the top of the list for some reason.
Posted by Markiss at 3:04 PM | Comments (0)
May 18, 2007
Neighbours Going
The BBC have decided to lose Neighbours today. They said that £300,000,000.00 for an eight year contract was too much. I agree, good riddance.
Now let's see if they will get rid of EastEnders next.
Mwuahahahahahahaha.
Posted by Markiss at 2:05 PM | Comments (3)
May 15, 2007
SuPuzzle
Haven't put a game up for a while. So when I came across this annoying one I just couldn't resist putting it up here. See if you can beat it and find the answer:
Thanks to SuPuzzle
Posted by Markiss at 3:14 PM | Comments (10)
May 14, 2007
Aussie Floyd
Another good weekend is now over and work has begun (a full week at that too!)
Went to see Aussie Pink Floyd on Saturday night at Fort Regent. It was a belter of a gig. The musicians were xlnt as were the backing vocalists. The only thing I didn't like was the lead singer who kinda let the side down a little. He was a new addition to the line up so maybe he just needs to do a few more gigs and he will settle in ok.
The lighting was really good too. They had the biggest mirror ball I have ever seen, it must have been 3-4 feet in diameter. Made my mirror ball look like a pea.
They also had a 25 foot inflatable kangaroo which suddenly appeared at the back of the stage dancing around.
If they come back to Jersey next year (which they said they would) I would definitely recommend anyone to go and check them out. I'm sure you will have a great time.
I've put a couple of short clips of the gig in the extended entry, just so you can see the mirror ball and lasers. They aren't great as I have had to reduce the file sizes quite a bit.
Big fekkin' mirror ball:
